america

I have one weapon for my self defense. It is patience. If I do not have it. I have no alternative. Khabe to wait till acquire it. That is again my patience. I must be patient enough to be patient. About 50 years back I realized a technique called recursion. A self defining expression for an object. What is self? Knowledge of me. It is knowledge of me a moment ago plus knowledge of now. It is ever increasing and depends on my previous or past knowledge. If I am keeping a record. Records are of many kind. Memory is one of them. Patience is the quality that is self defining. I mat wait till my death to find out what is death. Till then I don't know. What then is impatience. I do not know and I don't need to know. Is it a fork and two different path of occupation? No they are not. Since events are nonstop. Even when I am very attentive and ignoring frames and filtering for the awaited events only. I do not control events even when I do not notice. Depen...

matter is closed and settled. my situation cannot be improved and i am fully satisfied. I cannot be more happy. I have protection of  my lifetime of happiness. I cannot be robbed of my happiness. I have no need. I have no reason to think or do or show. my pleasure is celestial divine unlimited unimagined unconditional freedom of living in open empty space without any obstruction rule or any expectation from me

Writing is my daily medicine for my body and mind. I trimming my overnight growth of hairs (me) of expectations obstructing my vision of clear sky and creating discomfort in paradise (my home of abundance). I must write till I am rid of arrows bleeding me or I am no more. Am I not making up ? Seeing things? Making things bigger than they are? Making me smaller than I am? Remembering that I may not? Misinterpreting? Predicting?  I am lacking intelligence.  I am unable to see or think all as they are and no further FULL STOP [it took me 2 hours to remove delusion from my eyes and see all in their true perspective. I aim to make it instantaneous.] Here are some words from Ramakrishna reminding me of my limitations and cause of my unhappiness from my crave for knowledge and lust for physical pleasure: I am a packet of salt trying to measure the depth of Ocean (my creator doubting its ability)! I am an ant who can only carry one crystal of sugar and live o...

I am suffering from sadness and anxiety. I am suffering from want of spendable money and ability to meet unexpected expenditure and expected expenditure. I am suffering from physical disabilities and body malfunction. I am suffering from want of human support. I am suffering from loneliness. I am suffering from expected false accusations. The root cause is me and my intolerance of words from my private or public relations.

I do not blame me for vomiting urinating and soiling my pant trembling dreaming talking running temperature running helter skelter sleepless jaws are grinding out of fear. I am committed for life to see fear if that catches my attention. I promise me to see all of my fear and not to avoid my fear.  I see my fear without anticipating, touching, treating, fleeing, defending, offending, pleading, making public, spending money, wasting time, asking for help, following advise, thinking, breaking all rules, consuming medicine, writing, making excuse, forgiving etc, but  remaining silent, and doing nothing  until I remember nothing  full stop none and nothing ever exists ~ empty space is forever empty never ceased to be so ~ that is me the untouchable unseeable unhearable absent imperceptible absolute I cannot compromise my freedom Is this the only way to consume disaster? Am I courageous enough to teach this to any who wish to learn from me? Am I an example...

I am not much fan of cloud infrastructure the solution being proposed by internet companies. My prediction has come true to some extent about internet companies. I withdrew from Facebook in February and I was very vocal about it. Facebook got wiped out of investor $120 billion in one day and the levator is in downwide slide. Google is fined $5+billion and many stringent measure being seen. Apple is not touched till now but it is in the process of losing trillion it has accumulated from drug peddling. Somehow it is not much concern as yet world over except in China that Google Search engine Chrome and Android remains choice. But it shall no longer be so. You cannot peep in my toilet and sell my personal images. I still write this blog in Googles blogger.com. I have tolerated its attack on my privileges in gmail and elsewhere. I am threatened with unauthorized access. My mail account privacy is breached my passwords are stolen and remains unreliable. I want this monstrous level of p...

I am absent any is absent all is absent knowledge is absent observation is absent hypothesis is absent conclusion is absent ... absent are my words This is the presence of divinity without words My wish come true Floating in the absence i am playing with Cecelia Cole Loves and Indulgences in the infinity of time unlimited... Wordless waves of joy without direction without exhaustion without time without dream without limit In this paradise i stand consoling horse just been lashed by its master i paint with my ability in the asylum without escape i bleed in pain nailed in cross wearing crown of thrones under scorching sun thirsty There is no place where I am absent!

I have no choice besides assuming I have choice and I chose as if on my own. But often I am pre-influenced by my bias. the bias is my selfishness and my inability to share. the kingdom of heaven i do not wish to share. as if i knew always that kingdom of heaven is empty space. my question to creator why do you give the illusion of choice to any such as Duryodhana that you are fair to him while always pushing to punishment his created hell in paradise. Does not one know the rich he is hiding is yours? Does he not know that he is the witness even though there is any in hearing or seeing proximity? and one is too many! this memory is unerasable. no amount of devotion penance mantra bribing you or any of your agents can cure his or her disease constant pain of suffering. every time she or he opens her or his mouth the suffering increases. lust has no cure once committed. it is far worse than cancer! why knowingly creator allows this to happen? I do not understand. why one cannot...

I could be content that the second moon is non facing side of moon that is forever synchronized with motion of earth. Thigh at an angle of orbit with earth orbit of motion around the sun. Nowhere from earth we can see the other side if moon to conclude it is spherical. Till many photographed it's hidden side. I accept. So my hypothesis of second moon and second being the same is wide open. Suppose there is one and shall never be revealed light of sun. It is just transparent and cast no shadow from Suns light. Can some waves that discover object not cast shadow? X-ray cast shadows of bones and not that of our flesh. Does all material need have gravity? Second moon may be just open empty space that surrounds our universe and much closer to us than any material we can identify the very reason for our judgement. The reason. We see vividly what we expect. How to see what we don't expect. It is nearest to me and that always happens in every moment including now! One cou...

President is firefighting. So much at stake. His ill gotten wealth. His ill gotten mike to lecture the world. His insatiable lust for flesh. He is crying nonstop for all to stop the hunt for him!! Does one has the protection of immunity when no longer President for breaking the law before becoming president? can any has immunity?

Creator too has both heart and head. Though it's abundance he distributes impartially, he feigns equality and sends secret messages in two different ways between warring brothers. Bhishma's question is deep, he asks krishna, how come dangers for pandavas were never ending. Krishna has to be beside panda as always! That is his preferential treatment. If I wish to be aligned to creator and look for residency under his sky khabe to share equally all his wealth according to his biases. I am not allowed to complain. I have leave out abandon my preferences outside his sky - i prefer to call my umbrella. Since I have already my choice. I may pray my love to be present beside but cannot complain if that be empty. I must be perfect in my head. What is my wish? An ever present perfect shelter with abundant love and care or more outside my residence. What is home? This morning's dream: I am struggling hard to prevent loss of Joya's! My umbrella is empty sp...

Standing on a bridge i see water flowing by under the bridge and for closer inspection i want that to stop. I offer prayers words and mantra. I certainly am the universe i see. I certainly am absent the creator. I certainly am him when I am not thinking. How much control i have over my world, truly? How much control do I have on me a micro element of my universe. Can I stop my thinking? I can only perhaps stop acting and talking. The stream of thinking I cannot stop standing over the bridge. Unless it is stopped in level of my existence. At their origin. What is The origin of my thought? What am I thinking about? How desirable i am to some I wish to talk. That some is entirely my fiction of pleasure and honor. They are my belief. How do I eliminate my belief? Is there any other option but my silence? At the moment I am burning to talk. I cannot take the vow of silence and distance to people for all time to come or even for next seven days. I am dying...

I did not caption this piece - zero. Sunya and zero are two different things and they mean two different. Zero is used exclusively associated with counting. Sunya has nothing to do with counting it means empty space. It does not need visualization or imagination. It is something altogether different. Withdrawal of oneself completely from imagined world without wasting anytime or relocation. It is experience of disappearance of illusion. Illusion is based on my assumption. There is no other being except me. The sky i belong to has no bodies no matter. The sky is truth and not it's contents. I cannot imagine myself. I am sky without content - empty space there is not any material to compare with. Alternative a hoax a bluff to myself when there is nothing. My stability is not what imagine i have but my no possession. I am that. I hate to say this. This my last utterance. I shall never repeat this. I do not own my feelings. I am sunya and I cannot be otherwise. I cann...

I am committed to prevent nothing. All illusion is illusion and goes observed without me blinking. I am center of universe and empty space. If any of my illusion is capable of evoking any kind of emotion to engage with me, i do not prevent. It is my commitment to what I have done once and shall not repeat. I am already eliminated. I am not left with any option. An attack or praise are exactly same they do not exist anymore. Last night I was depressed that there is none but me. I can no longer play the game of many and keep the game go on. I can no longer the author any play and write play script on my imagination. I have no convicion left. I was depressed that I have no enjoyment left. What can I be in empty space with not even a reader my words? I am unable to read a word or watch a film. I cannot improve myself. I am committed not to prevent my elimination. I can never feel victorious again. Whom do I tell about my victory? I am my mother. I am my brother. I am my siste...

the dreaded disease cannot happen unless it is rooted in my mind. it dies not have any cure in the clinical world unless it is cured in my mind. If I believe my mind is pure and nothing. My world is pure and nothing. If any existence I believe my world is only them I believe. All my test shall yield result positive towards that existence. AND THERE IS NO TREATMENT OR CURE! Cancer as we know. Cancer shall not have any cure in this world forever and ever. This again named in bengali as Karmafol. In english, I have to reap benefit of deeds and in this life time that may last eternity that depends on how rooted I am in my belief. The root of all my belief is me. Its reflection is my reflection - the world. Like reflection in mirror it is totally illusion complete with depth measure - depth height width length time composition and details as far as your knowledge or imagination. You need not be mobile but just fixed in chair and starts speculating birth and death of univers...

Trump has no credibility left as an American. Not only he has colluded with foreign power to undermine US form of democracy. Thereafter he using his official power to undermine US and using US government money to further his business.

Trump recent visits in Europe and UK a d his abject surrender to his master Putin has called for action in Europe. Assange holed up in Ecuadorean embassy is being handed over to police in London. He will be now questioned on American Election that Muller is investigating. All this to embarrass Trump and their dislike for Putin.

it is predictable that google facebook apple microsoft 5 trillion giants have to thin down and give up their personal information selling business. no matter how profitable it is and encouraged by US Government. It was predictable how desperately Trump needs private assurance from Putin that he will not be stripped at home. One can see it in his face. Trump desperately needed and plead to FBI Director not so long ago that his pee tape is kept away from Melania. It is no longer he wants discovery of emails from Hillary Clinton's server but his business not toppled and he himself is not impeached. Putin now has US President in whitehouse as his trusted ally or agent. EU not only putting up a hefty fine exceeding $4billion from Google but they wish the devastating rule to be implemented in android phones - allowing Search engines, Browser, and Maps etc. I have been always telling, Google is worst unimaginable search engine developed one and only purpose availing private informati...