america

I have one weapon for my self defense. It is patience. If I do not have it. I have no alternative. Khabe to wait till acquire it. That is again my patience. I must be patient enough to be patient. About 50 years back I realized a technique called recursion. A self defining expression for an object. What is self? Knowledge of me. It is knowledge of me a moment ago plus knowledge of now. It is ever increasing and depends on my previous or past knowledge. If I am keeping a record. Records are of many kind. Memory is one of them. Patience is the quality that is self defining. I mat wait till my death to find out what is death. Till then I don't know. What then is impatience. I do not know and I don't need to know. Is it a fork and two different path of occupation? No they are not. Since events are nonstop. Even when I am very attentive and ignoring frames and filtering for the awaited events only. I do not control events even when I do not notice. Depen...

matter is closed and settled. my situation cannot be improved and i am fully satisfied. I cannot be more happy. I have protection of  my lifetime of happiness. I cannot be robbed of my happiness. I have no need. I have no reason to think or do or show. my pleasure is celestial divine unlimited unimagined unconditional freedom of living in open empty space without any obstruction rule or any expectation from me

Writing is my daily medicine for my body and mind. I trimming my overnight growth of hairs (me) of expectations obstructing my vision of clear sky and creating discomfort in paradise (my home of abundance). I must write till I am rid of arrows bleeding me or I am no more. Am I not making up ? Seeing things? Making things bigger than they are? Making me smaller than I am? Remembering that I may not? Misinterpreting? Predicting?  I am lacking intelligence.  I am unable to see or think all as they are and no further FULL STOP [it took me 2 hours to remove delusion from my eyes and see all in their true perspective. I aim to make it instantaneous.] Here are some words from Ramakrishna reminding me of my limitations and cause of my unhappiness from my crave for knowledge and lust for physical pleasure: I am a packet of salt trying to measure the depth of Ocean (my creator doubting its ability)! I am an ant who can only carry one crystal of sugar and live o...

I am suffering from sadness and anxiety. I am suffering from want of spendable money and ability to meet unexpected expenditure and expected expenditure. I am suffering from physical disabilities and body malfunction. I am suffering from want of human support. I am suffering from loneliness. I am suffering from expected false accusations. The root cause is me and my intolerance of words from my private or public relations.

I do not blame me for vomiting urinating and soiling my pant trembling dreaming talking running temperature running helter skelter sleepless jaws are grinding out of fear. I am committed for life to see fear if that catches my attention. I promise me to see all of my fear and not to avoid my fear.  I see my fear without anticipating, touching, treating, fleeing, defending, offending, pleading, making public, spending money, wasting time, asking for help, following advise, thinking, breaking all rules, consuming medicine, writing, making excuse, forgiving etc, but  remaining silent, and doing nothing  until I remember nothing  full stop none and nothing ever exists ~ empty space is forever empty never ceased to be so ~ that is me the untouchable unseeable unhearable absent imperceptible absolute I cannot compromise my freedom Is this the only way to consume disaster? Am I courageous enough to teach this to any who wish to learn from me? Am I an example...

I am not much fan of cloud infrastructure the solution being proposed by internet companies. My prediction has come true to some extent about internet companies. I withdrew from Facebook in February and I was very vocal about it. Facebook got wiped out of investor $120 billion in one day and the levator is in downwide slide. Google is fined $5+billion and many stringent measure being seen. Apple is not touched till now but it is in the process of losing trillion it has accumulated from drug peddling. Somehow it is not much concern as yet world over except in China that Google Search engine Chrome and Android remains choice. But it shall no longer be so. You cannot peep in my toilet and sell my personal images. I still write this blog in Googles blogger.com. I have tolerated its attack on my privileges in gmail and elsewhere. I am threatened with unauthorized access. My mail account privacy is breached my passwords are stolen and remains unreliable. I want this monstrous level of p...

I am absent any is absent all is absent knowledge is absent observation is absent hypothesis is absent conclusion is absent ... absent are my words This is the presence of divinity without words My wish come true Floating in the absence i am playing with Cecelia Cole Loves and Indulgences in the infinity of time unlimited... Wordless waves of joy without direction without exhaustion without time without dream without limit In this paradise i stand consoling horse just been lashed by its master i paint with my ability in the asylum without escape i bleed in pain nailed in cross wearing crown of thrones under scorching sun thirsty There is no place where I am absent!